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Personal Stuff: If you don't know me - GO AWAY!!!!
Me: 41 years 184 days , Amanda: 36 years 247 days , Esme 6 years 21 days and Bradley 3 years 342 days . Telford UK, 213 miles NW of London. See more who and where.
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07 October 2004   

 

I'm an old hypochondriac

For several months now, I've had in my mind that I had 'something nasty' in my mouth and throat. I have a large lump to the side of my tongue about the size of kidney bean.

Everybody I've seen, my family doc, the dentist, and ear, nose and throat specialist, all said, "it wasn't anything to worry about," probably related to the missing molar I had extracted 10 years ago. They give it a look, a poke, and that's that.

Of course, they would say that. They're sparing me. No need to tell him the worst. Not yet. Not till we know for sure.

Today I saw a facial surgeon. This was the day they were to tell me, I figured, that they'd need to do a biopsy to find out why/what/how long. This is how it starts.

I've been picking up signs all morning. Nick Owen, stung by a bee 40 years ago, gets cancer. As I watched the bath water drain out of the bath, this was my life. I saw a hearse on the drive over, it followed me. Radio 4 talked about some gardener dying young of cancer. Autumnal leaves fill the trees, not long before they too, drop.

The nurses smiled, knowingly. Understandingly.

This was my last morning, before they told me the truth.

First an all round face x-ray. And more waiting. More reading of food magazines. I read about balsamic vinegar in Italy. Very interesting stuff. Can't remember a word though.

The geezer called me in, poked. Asked about my heart. Then asked me to look at the x-ray. This was it.

When they took my tooth out, they left a bit of root. This is infected and slowly leaking through my gum. If it wasn't leaking, my face would have swollen out. Easy job. Local anaesthetic. Two weeks. He's off next, otherwise it'd been next week.

I feel like jumping up and shouting, "YESSSS!"

I can think again of the future.

 


1961 Also posted to: Home page . At: 3:22:50 PM  . .
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Other title(s) for this story: I'm an old hypochondriac